


Shards of a Broken Heart

by Cherry101



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Character Study, Cheating, Drabble, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Other, Poor Yuri, Post-Break Up, Why do I do this, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 10:35:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11273712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry101/pseuds/Cherry101
Summary: Sometimes, if Yuri zoomed in on the picture, he could fool himself into believing that Otabek was alone - that the captioned message was for him, for Yuri, not for anybody else.Sometimes, if he closed his eyes and sprayed the cologne he still continuously bought, he could pretend that the scent was Otabek himself, still with him, living with him.~~~~~Or, the aftermath of a failed relationship, told by Yuri.





	Shards of a Broken Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Phayte](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phayte/gifts), [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Here you go... *Throws angst* This was meant to be another short little drabble to help me out of writer's block, but... Yeah, even I don't know where I was going with this :'D
> 
> Tell me what you thought! Enjoy!

Sometimes, if Yuri zoomed in on the picture, he could fool himself into believing that Otabek was alone - that the captioned message was for him, for Yuri, not for anybody else.

 

Sometimes, if he closed his eyes and sprayed the cologne he still continuously bought, he could pretend that the scent was Otabek himself, still with him, living with him.

 

Yuri knew he was being delusional - that he should be over him by now, after all these years - but, somehow, for some reason, he  _ couldn't stop. _

 

Because once, there was a strong arm to stroke his hair, a gentle murmur of Kazakh endearments in his ear, firm but gentle hands that would gently caress him when he was feeling down.

 

And now… 

 

Now, Yuri was alone. 

 

He should've seen it coming, really. His father had left before he was born. His mother had succumbed to drugs and alcohol when he was merely a toddler, too ashamed of him to face him.

 

Viktor had left him for Yuuri Katsuki, at the age of 15.

 

His grandfather, passing away shortly after his eighteenth birthday. 

 

And now… Otabek. 

 

When they had made the change from friends to boyfriends, it was with the promise of forever. It was with a press of warm lips against his neck, fever-flushed bodies pressed together in the tangle of bed sheets. Exchanged vows made in the stillness of a summer’s night.

 

Five years later, Yuri was helpless to do anything but watch as the same promises were made to somebody that  _ wasn't him. _

 

And oh, how it hurt. 

 

He did a lot to try and get over it. He threw himself head on into his skating, until the reminders of his failed relationship seeped into the ice itself, and the one thing that brought him joy disappeared. 

 

So Yuri quit. He retired at the age of 24, which wasn't too unbelievable, but still came as a shock to the whole of the skating world, to everybody who thought that they would be facing Yuri for the rest of their careers.

 

He dedicated himself to ballet, because he had to keep some remnant of his old life with him. Lilia became his permanent instructor, keeping him on his toes, and he remembered that she had gone through something similar when she was younger, with only a few differences.

 

If he moved fast enough, if he never slowed down… he might be able to forget.

 

...who is he kidding?

 

Yuri had withdrawn from most social media mediums because it hurt to see all the people happy in love - a painful reminder that he would never experience that again.

 

He would never give himself to anyone, never again. How could he trust anybody not to hurt him? 

 

It had been so… so  _ fucking  _ painful when Otabek gave him that solemn look, after Yuri found a name that wasn't his own on Otabek’s phone.

 

Messages that were far too intimate to be for a family member.

 

Proclamations of love that Yuri hadn’t heard in months, being told to someone Yuri had never even met.

 

_ “Yuri.” _

 

_ “Are you going to apologise? 'Oh, I'm sorry, Yura, I didn't mean to send those messages.’ 'I didn't mean to, to…’”  _

 

_ “I only apologise for not saying something sooner. I… I don't love you anymore, Yuri.” _

 

He had known it was coming, with the longer nights out, the constant arguments, the silence. He had known, but hearing it spoken sent thousands of tiny daggers plummeting through his veins. 

 

Yuri hadn't said anything in response. He had just stood there, blank, watching the one person who had managed to make him feel more than worthless turned and walked out of his life.

 

It had been an entire year since that day. A year, and Yuri still wasn't over it. A year, and seeing pictures of Otabek, his Otabek, with a new partner wrapped around him like a snake, still sent a lump down his throat. 

 

Sometimes, he could pretend that he was okay.

 

But, the truth, the horrible, horrible truth, was that Yuri was  _ not okay.  _

 

He would never be okay.

 

But he would swallow down his pain. He would perform for Lilia, for his future students, with a bounce in his step. The same mask that he had created at the age of fourteen he would wear now, using bitterness and anger to bluff his way through his dancing.

 

He would only allow himself to break down at night, in the comfort of his bedroom, when too many memories would overwhelm him and leave him clinging to his sheets, screaming into his pillow, desperate for someone to come, for someone to help him glue back the broken pieces of his heart. 

 

They never came.

 

Yuri spent the rest of his life with a heart shattered inside of his chest. He never recovered. He never really moved on. 

 

But, yet, when he thought about his five year relationship - the ups, the downs, the inevitable end…

 

If he had the choice, he would do it all over again, if it meant that, for five years, he had someone that made him feel whole. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
